Lindy Kempe

🎃 It’s 1986, and one student at a magical boarding school is struggling to fit in while having to deal with a hard-nosed potions teacher and bullying from a golden child whose father will hear about this, but finds comfort in broom flying and encouragement from the kindly old headmaster.  No, not that one.  🎙️ Becca Petunia and Lindy Kempe join us for “The Worst Witch,” adapted from the original beloved series of books about a quirky boarding school for witches. This Halloween special stars a young Fairuza Balk, featuring Dianna Rigg, Charlotte Rae in a dual role, and Tim Curry in the trippiest ’80s music video.  📺 You can watch “The Worst Witch” on the Internet Archive.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Find “The Worst Witch” book at your local library.  St. Michael’s College is for sale.  Pam Jones (Donna) — formerly Kate Buckley before another actress took that name while she was on hiatus — is now a ceramic artist.  The kitten ceremony background music sounds kind of like Zelda’s Lullaby.  Mildred and Ethel’s rivalry gave us “Owl House” vibes.  Toonces the Driving Cat.  One student is a future Teletubby!  Becca on Movin’ Right Along discussing Tim Curry singing in “Muppet Treasure Island.”  Both Tim Curry and Sebastian from “The Little Mermaid” sing “begin the Beguine.”  Tim Curry in “Red Alert 3.”  Other “Worst Witch” TV adaptations, including a college spinoff and a Netflix series.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Carvel Halloween Ice Cream Cakes Commercial (1986)  Hyrule Podcasters, an audio “Let’s Play” through The Legend of Zelda.  ****  “The Worst Witch” © 1986 Central Independent Television Plc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 It’s 1987, and someone stole Santa Claus in the middle of his hot dog break.  🎙️ Lindy Kempe and Emily Rowley join us as we follow a renowned novelist who may or may not be a teenager and her animated mouse writing partner on a quest find out who kidnapped a department store Santa, while we solve the mystery of how anyone remembers this Christmas special that only aired once.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Dick Van Patten’s shout-out in “Wayne’s World” and cameo in “Robin Hood: Men In Tights.”  Darcy Marta (Jill) on Totally Rad Christmas.  Gene Kelly and Jerry Mouse dancing in “Anchors Aweigh.”  Jill’s Miami Mice poster — no relation to the “Sesame Street” parody of the same name.  Donald O’Connor (Alex) in “Singin’ in the Rain.”  Helen Hughes (whoever the woman who answers Jill’s door is supposed to be) in “Billy Madison.”  Today’s TV Trope: 555.  Francis Dambeger’s (Jerry) 1991 film “Solitaire,” and its solitaire review on IMDb.  The realistic looking toy gun predates the same federal law that forced Nintendo to recolor its Zapper orange.  ****  📼 Commercials:  7up Christmas Commercial (1986–1987)  Wild Puffalumps Commercial (1987)  The Magic of the Season.  ****  “A Mouse, A Mystery, and Me” © 1987 Ruby-Spears Productions.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 Previously on the Advent Calendar House, we witnessed goodness make the badness go away in “The Smurfs’ Christmas Special.”  This time, we’re taking a one giant puppy open sleigh ride back to 1987 to spend another Christmas with the Smurfs.  🎙️ Lindy Kempe and Donnie Storms join us to help the Smurfs save Christmas for a poor human toymaker and his gravely ill wife, while Brainy and Hefty get lost in medieval Crime Alley.  📺 You can watch “’Tis the Season to be Smurfy” for free on YouTube, or an upscaled version including the opening credits.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  “Look at the adjective…”  The crazy backstories of the Smurfs’ Puppy and Sassette.  The Great Cookie Thief.  New and improved Joker products!  Painter Smurf paints like “Duck Amuck.”  ****  📼 Commercials:  Smurf-Berry Crunch Cereal (1983)  Bad Princess Movies.  ****  “’Tis the Season to be Smurfy” © 1987 Hanna-Barbera Productions, Inc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 It’s 2002, and we’re trapped in a horrifying world where Kermit the Frog doesn’t exist.  🎙 Lindy Kempe, Adam Jurotich, and Erik Johnson join us for a spectacular, spectacular Christmas Eve extravaganza starring Kermit in the George Bailey role of the Muppets’ perfectly silly take on “It’s a Wonderful Life,” also featuring Joan Cusack, David Arquette, Matthew Lillard, the cast of “Scrubs,” and Whoopi Goldberg as God, Herself.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Muppet Wiki’s list of similarities between this special and 2011’s “The Muppets.”  Joe Snow.  Hoggle from “Labyrinth” at the Unclaimed Baggage Center.  Director Kirk Thatcher as the punk on the bus in “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home” and ”Picard.”  Jonathan Bruce, who’d later appear in “Elf.”  Deleted scenes include more of Carson Daly, Santa, and a lost cut scene with Snoop Dogg.  The giant Bossmen Muppets.  A scheduling conflict robbed this movie of actual Steve Irwin.  Fozzie as “that green guy who stole Christmas.”  Today’s TV Tropes: Celestial Bureaucracy, Laser Hallway, and Lampshade Wearing.  The Yoda Muppet has his own Muppet Wiki entry.  So does Amy, the Dancing Brick!  The World Trade Center in alternate timeline Piggy’s apartment window, and that’s not the worst part of that scene.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Mastercard Priceless Getaway Sweepstakes Commercial starring The Muppets (2002)  Acid Washed Memories, a retro pop-culture celebration podcast starting January 9, 2023.  ****  “It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie” © 2002 The Jim Henson Company.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 It’s 1995, and a couple of giant space monsters with swords are about to bring swords to a snowball fight and still lose.  🎙 Andre Bennett and Lindy Kempe join us as we follow the powerless Power Rangers to the North Pole, where they can’t Morph due to a cross-current of holiday magic. And also magnets.  📺 You can watch “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger” for free on YouTube.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger” on Ranger Wiki.  “Dynaman,” an English-dubbed parody of Super Sentai on the USA Network’s “Night Flight,” circa 1988.  Rubber Suit Rumble! and Cult Cinema Cloister Facebook groups, maintained by Andre.  Differences between the aired TV episode and the VHS cut, which was released 2 months earlier.  “The Order,” a proposed, Expendables-style film starring former Power Rangers.  Amy Jo Johnson (Kimberly) directed a Season 2 episode of “Superman & Lois.”  The Ranger “in jail” we alluded to isn’t even in this episode.  Affirmative Clothing Company, co-founded by David Yost (Billy).  Paul Schrier (Bulk) finally got to play a legit Ranger in 2017 in the web series “Power Rangers Hyperforce.”  Robert von Fliss has 4 credits on IMDb, and they’re all as Santa Claus.  The real-life Command Center: The House of the Book at the American Jewish University.  Rito Revolto, a giant skeleton warrior, learning about holiday spirit is just the Skeletor scene all over again.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Pizza Hut: “Right Field” (1990), from the VHS release of the first “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie.  Diet Coke: “Choose Wisely” (1990) from the VHS release of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  OnStar: “Batcave” (2000), featuring Batman and Michael Gough as Alfred, except I was probably thinking of the Diet Coke ad before Batman ’89.  Saban’s 4½ minutes of commercials in front of the VHS release of I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger, including an ad for THE VIDEO YOU’RE ALREADY WATCHING.  Behind the Bells.  ****  “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” and “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger” © 1995 Saban Entertainment, Inc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 It’s 1988, and the Care Bears are threatening to take hostages on a quest to save Toyland.  🎙 Lindy Kempe and Karen Flieger join us to stare intensely at the totally nuts series finale of “The Care Bears Family,” the Care Bears’ last TV appearance for 16 years.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  The World’s Smallest Tenderheart Bear.  Karen’s awesome Nutcracker socks.  Abby Hagyard (Ms. Walker, and also the mom on “You Can’t Do That on Television”).  “The Wild Puffalumps.”  Billie Mae Richards, the voice of Rudolph, as Tenderheart Bear in “The Care Bears Movie.”  That time a goose flew into Fabio’s face on a roller coaster.  Today’s TV Tropes: Identity Amnesia, Evil Chancellor, Rail-Car Separation.  “The Sad Story of Henry” from Thomas the Tank Engine.  The train runs on soda, like the time machine in the first draft of “Back to the Future.”  When we recorded this, the special’s Wikipedia entry was oddly specific about setting this story in 1967.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Care Bears Drinking Glasses from Pizza Hut (1984)  “The Christmas Book: The Ultimate Guide to Your Favorite Holiday,” by Ed Daly.  Snow in Southtown.  ****  “Care Bears Nutcracker Suite” © 1988 Nelvana Ltd.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🦖 It’s the most wonderful time of 60 million years ago, so come in and buy paint.  🎙️ Lindy Kempe joins us with frying pan ready to celebrate Refrigerator Day with the Jim Henson Company’s “Dinosaurs,” which is somehow the Advent Calendar House’s first TGIF episode.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  “The Simpsons” parodies “Dinosaurs.”  We go from talking about the “Økėÿ Døkęÿ Køøkïñ” segment of “Muppets Now” to Netflix’s “Nailed It!”  Sally Struthers (Charlene) for International Correspondence School.  A brief history of the Christmas bonus, or “thirteenth salary.”  Sam McMurray in the very short-lived “A League of Their Own” sitcom, and my own pitch for a TV adaptation on Nerd Lunch’s Fourth Chair Army Invasion.  Pons Maar (Roy’s body actor) as the original voice of The Noid.  Unisaurs: The Dinosaurs equivalent to the Anything Muppet.  The biggest gifts we ended up returning.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Talking Baby Dinosaur and Dinosaurs Figures (1991)  TGI Podcast.  ****  “Dinosaurs” and “Refrigerator Day” © 1991 The Walt Disney Company.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 Santa’s sleigh is grounded in the original video game crash.  The Advent Calendar House kicks off another Christmas countdown by rewinding back to 1982, when Santa found himself stranded in Pac-Man’s neighborhood.  🎙 Lindy and Alicia join us for a stroll through “Christmas Comes to Pacland,” where no one knows about Christmas, but somehow the Ghost Monsters know the words to “Jingle Bells.”  🚨 Warning: Santa spoilers from 11:25 to 13:30.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Santa is flying with 8 reindeer, including Rudolph. Who got the night off?  Why some reindeer actually have red noses.  This might be the first time a Christmas special shows Santa using a computer.  Russi Taylor’s Pac-Baby has the same voice she later used for Robin in “Muppet Babies.”  Absent from this special is the Ghost Monsters’ boss, Mezmaron.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Pac-Man Cereal (1984)  Chef Boyardee Pac-Man Pasta (1984)  A Bomb for Christmas, made for podcast Christmas movie by Tim Babb of the Can’t Wait for Christmas Podcast, co-starring Mike as “Captain Willis.”  ****  “Christmas Comes to Pacland” © 1982 Hanna-Barbera Productions.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 Tune in as we celebrate the 30th anniversary of Pee-wee Herman’s Christmas special the only way we know how: With lots of screaming, lots of fruitcake, and lots more screaming.  🎙️ Erin Evans, Lindy Kempe, and Joey O. call into the Podcast Phone to embrace the wackiest holiday party of 1988.  📺 The “Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special” is available for free on YouTube.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Magic Johnson recorded his segment hours before playing in — and winning — a Lakers game. We don’t know the precise date, but one win was against the SuperSonics, possibly (but probably not) on Ice Cube’s “Good Day.”  One commercial break includes a bizarre Pringles commercial starring a young Brad Pitt.  “Pee-wee’s Big Holiday.”  When did fruitcake become a punchline? Christmas Past has something of an answer. Or is fruitcake a byproduct of the Joys of Jell-O era? The working script and storyboards for this special.  Who mailed Grace Jones to the Reagan White House?  Pee-wee in “Back to the Beach.”  The King of Cartoons’ cartoon: 1936’s “Christmas Comes But Once a Year.”  My feelings about snow mirror this one, particular Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, published 5 days after this special aired.  The awkward moment when we realize the Dinosaur Family has a pet dinosaur.  ****  “Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special” © 1988 Paul Reubens.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 Part 2 of our Christmas donkey double feature presents a completely different origin story of the donkey who carried Mary to Bethlehem.  🎙️ Lindy Kempe and Brandon Medley return to talk “The Small One,” Don Bluth’s last Disney project, released in front of the 1978 re-release of “Pinocchio.”  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  The original book, “The Small One: A Story for Those Who Like Christmas and Small Donkeys.”  “Dragon’s Lair.”  The Land Before Time toys from Pizza Hut.  Mouse in Transition: When Everyone Left Disney (Cartoon Brew, 2014)  Don Bluth visited Walt Disney Animation Studios 40 years later.  Assistant director Richard Rich went on to direct all 8 Swan Princess movies. (I’m sorry if you just learned there are 8 Swan Princess movies.)  One piece of silver, adjusted for inflation.  Edits for home video include the Merchants’ song, and the Star of Bethlehem getting extra rays of light to look less cross-shaped. To avoid too much foreshadowing, I guess.  Gordon Jump, the voice of Joseph, was on a very special episode of “Diff’rent Strokes.” Yeah. Sorry.  ****  “The Small One” © 1978 Walt Disney Productions.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 Extend your ears as we revisit a lesser-known Rankin/Bass special from 1977 that unravels a new side quest to the Nativity story.  🎙️ Lindy Kempe and Brandon Medley droop in to salute “Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey,” the first of a Christmas donkey double feature.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Roger Miller performing “Do Wacka Do” in 1966 with another guitarist, “Stubbs,” who’s wearing a Batman T-shirt.  Roger Miller’s “Whistle Stop” in Disney’s “Robin Hood” is secretly the Hamster Dance.  Tilly’s ascension back to heaven is strikingly similar to Poochie’s exit from “The Itchy and Scratchy Show.”  Mary has the Glow from “The Last Dragon.”  Annalee Santa dolls.  ****  “Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey” © 1977 Rankin/Bass Productions, Inc.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.