April Ryley

🎄 Rise and shine while you still can! Since this year’s December Solstice falls on a Sunday, I’ve come bearing the gift of an unexpectedly very merry Scrooge Sunday episode of “Xena: Warrior Princess” from 1996.  🎙️ April Ryley and Sammy Hain join the mission to warm the cold heart of a king who’s banned all Solstice celebrations on an almost wibbly-wobbly timeline that manages to smash together “A Christmas Carol,” the Three Fates of ancient Greek tradition, a Santa Claus origin story, and the Nativity. It even throws in some “Home Alone” style shenanigans, as a treat!  📺 As of this recording, “A Solstice Carol” is available to watch on Prime Video.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Lucy Lawless in “Spider-Man.”  “Ebenezer and the Invisible World,” the video game.  Moirai: The Three Fates.  The Simpsons: “Desperately Xeeking Xena” from “Treehouse of Horror X” (1999)  Inside Senticles’s toy closet, and his King Friday XIII lookalike jack-in-the-box.  The song: “Solstice Night.”  Karl Urban as Cupid in a Valentine’s Day episode.  ****  📼 Commercials:  7up: Holiday Celebration (1996)  Bad Princess Movies.  ****  “Xena: Warrior Princess” and “A Solstice Carol” © 1996 MCA Television Limited.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.  Hosted by The Retro Network.

🕎 Celebrate Hanukkah with a community talent show we don’t even get to watch.  We’ve miraculously found another Hanukkah special — with yet another spelling of it — so join us as we instantly reappear back in 1991 with a bunch of Canadian animal puppets to discover the magic of the holiday Under the Umbrella Tree.  🎙️ April Ryley is our lovely assistant as we meet a humble shopkeeper and former magician once known as “The Great Goldberg,” played by the equally great Harvey Atkin.  📺 As of this recording, you can watch “Hanukah Under the Umbrella Tree” on YouTube.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Holly Larocque in “The Big Band Broadcast” (2008)  Stephen Brathwaite’s (Jacob) artwork portfolio.  Bob Stutt (Iggy) as Wander McMooch on “Fraggle Rock.”  David Copperfield makes the Statue of Liberty disappear.  “Peoples is peoples.”  Today’s TV Trope: Magicians Are Wizards.  A Star is Borscht: The Harvey Atkin Young Jewish Performer Competition (2022)  “Under the Umbrella Tree: The Mask Special” (2020)  ****  📼 Commercials:  Happy Holidays from “Under the Umbrella Tree” (CBC)  Hallmark “Old Friends” Hanukkah Card Commercial (1993)  Remember That Show?  ****  “Hanukah Under the Umbrella Tree” © 1991 Noreen Young Productions, Inc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.  Hosted by The Retro Network.

🕎 It’s the year 2000, and Christmas and Hanukkah have crossed paths at my doorstep in the form of Santa Claus and his part-Jewish friend… a weird turtle man.  🎙 Becca Petunia and April Ryley join us as we revisit some old Friends in honor of Christmas Day and the first night of Hanukkah sharing a day on the calendar this year. Plus: An escaped tarantula, a restaurant we may never be allowed in or out of again, and an unforgettable interfaith holiday mascot fit for a new millennium.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  How often does the first night of Hanukkah fall on Christmas? (Vox, 2016)  What the ‘Friends’ Holiday Armadillo Episode Gets Right About Interfaith Families (Hey Alma, 2021)  The “Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas” drum roll outtake reel.  A transcript including deleted scenes reveals Ben wants Santa to bring him an ant farm.  Formication (with an M, y’all), the false sense of feeling like bugs are crawling on you.  Halloween Adventure is real and still open.  Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.  ****  📼 Commercials:  AT&T True Savings with David Schwimmer (circa 1996)  The Studio Demands It!  ****  “Friends” and “The One with the Holiday Armadillo” © 2000 Warner Bros. Television.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🕎 It’s 2003, and a team of Hebrew school basketball players think they’ve found the ghost of Judah Maccabee in a random guy living in a van.  🎙️ April Ryley and J.W. Friedman join us for a Disney Channel Original Hanukkah Movie very, very loosely based on the true story of former college basketball star Lamont Carr and a yeshiva’s struggling team looking for a leader.  📺 “Full-Court Miracle” is available on Disney+.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Lamont Carr’s obituary in Virginia Magazine (2017)  Psychocandy, an experimental pop duo of Cassie Steele (Julie) and Jase Blankfort (Stick).  UVA’s Athletics website circa 2003.  Alex’s prized Dr. J basketball card isn’t even a rookie card and isn’t that valuable.  “Jewball,” a novel featuring the South Philadelphia Hebrew Association basketball team.   Sadly, the only upload I could find of the hip-hop cover of the Dreidel song is a smartphone recording of a TV playing this movie.  This basketball movie’s NBA star cameo is provided by Jerome Williams.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Microsoft Encarta Commercial (1995)  Returning Student.  ****  “Full-Court Miracle” © 2003 Disney Enterprises, Inc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🕎 It’s 1998, and we’re praying for a miracle after getting stuck in a snow bank on the side of a dark highway with only an eighth of a tank of gas.  🎙 April Ryley joins us on an enlightening revisit to the Flashy Girl from Flushing on her first Hanukkah as a married woman. Also, Ray Charles is here!  📺 You can watch “The Hanukkah Story” for free on Facebook.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  April visits the Sheffield residence, and so can you.  Fran Drescher in “UHF.”  Fran Drescher says she had to fight to let ‘The Nanny’ be Jewish (L.A. Times, 2020)  Benjamin Salisbury (Brighton) on “Teen Celebrity Jeopardy” in 1997.  Daniel Davis (Niles) on “The Fran Drescher Tawk Show” in 2010.  Max’s childhood memory of his dad at Christmas reminded me of Bruce Wayne’s long dining room table.  What to do if you’re stranded in a car during a winter storm.  Kenny Rogers Roasters still exists, but only in Asia.  ****  📼 Commercials:  3 Musketeers Commercial starring Fran Drescher (1998)  Hyrule Podcasters, an audio “Let’s Play” through The Legend of Zelda.  ****  “The Nanny” and “The Hanukkah Story” © 1998 Global Entertainment Productions GmbH & Co. Medien KG.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🎄 It’s 1986, and we’re hiding out in a cabin in the mountains with modern-day Snow White and real-life Christmas angel Dolly Parton.  🎙 April Ryley joins us as we try to wrap our heads around this Henry Winkler-directed TV movie that gets really weird really quickly.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  “Dolly Parton Meets the Kids.”  Muppet doppelgänger Polly Darton.  Dolly Parton saved a girl’s life on the set of “Christmas on the Square.”  Gennie James (Cindy) in “The Hugga Bunch Movie.”  Claude Earl Jones (Bartender) in the Seinfeld episode, “The Race.”  Lee Majors (Mountain Dan) and Jean Speegle Howard (Old Woman Jezebel) in “The Night the Reindeer Died,” the movie-within-a-movie from “Scrooged.”  How South Jersey Keeps Muskrat on the Menu (Gastro Obscura)  ****  📼 Commercials:  Dollywood Commercial (1988)  Christmas Clatter.  Santa by the Minute.  ****  “A Smoky Mountain Christmas” © 1986 Sandollar Productions.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🕎 It’s 1988, and we’re getting lit at Bubbe’s Boarding House for Hanukkah. 🎙 April Ryley joins us for a spin with a bunch of puppets you’ll never hear from again.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  A Simpsons animator designed the puppets for this weird, wonderful ’80s Hanukkah special (Splinter, 2014)  “Caps for Sale”  Anton and his Easter Island head.  April’s very non-kosher latke recipe.  Mayim Bialik explains the letters on the dreidel and other Hanukkah facts.  Calvin getting trolled by his dad in “Calvin and Hobbes.”  ****  📼 Commercials:  1970s/’80s PBS Logo ID.  1985 Teddy Ruxpin “Frankenstein” Commercial, preserved by Dinosaur Dracula. Teddy Ruxpin voice actor Phil Baron co-wrote this special.  Cool Kids Club.  ****  “Chanuka at Bubbe’s” © 1988 Pan-Imago, Inc.  Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.

🕎 Marc Weiner and his puppets won’t stop screaming in Nickelodeon’s first Hanukkah special.  🎙 April Ryley joins us as we noisily snowmobile back to 1995 to try and figure out what everyone’s yelling about. Unexpectedly, it all started in outer space.  📺 You can watch “The Weinerville Chanukah Special” on YouTube.  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:  Weinerville.com is alive and well in 2020.  Marc Weiner as Swiper the Fox and the Map in “Dora the Explorer.”  Marc Summers on his OCD being “blown out of freakin’ proportion,” and why he dropped his given last name.  Sour cream vs. applesauce for latke dipping.  Michael Gunst (Sinrek) may or may not be this puppeteer and mask maker.  Brian O’Connor (Antidorkus) as Schemer on “Shining Time Station.”  Thanks to Nickelodeon being under the MTV Networks umbrella, this special featured music by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Miami Sound Machine, and the B-52’s.  The bulk of this special was filmed at the Summit Lodge in Killington, Vermont.  Telephone booths still exist at Walt Disney World.  Liver as a go-to food kids hate.  Kevin “Diesel” Nash was still WWF Champion during taping, but lost it shortly before the special aired.  The art of making your own menorah out of household items, recyclable objects, or fruit.  ****  📼 Commercials:  Kmart Holiday Commercial starring Rosie O’Donnell and Penny Marshall (1995)  Holly Jolly X’masu.  ****  “The Weinerville Chanukah Special” © 1995 Nickelodeon.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.